Sentinel - Chapter Forty

Title: Sentinel
Author: Golddragon85/Tovaras
Game: Mass Effect
characters/pairing: Male John Shepard/Kaidan Alenko
Disclaimer: I own nothing besides my own playthrough of the games. ... Sadly, I don't make money out of it.

***

A Personal Letter:

“You know, I have almost forgotten just how much… Crazy happens when working with you,” Kaidan had said while looking over at the very sour and confused looking Prothean that was currently exploring the lower regions of the Normandy.

When Shepard had asked if he wanted to join him on a mission to Eden Prime, Kaidan had immediately said yes. Getting the chance to whoop some Cerberus ass and explore yet another Prothean artifact? It was like the old times all over again, something Shepard had commented on when they had headed over there.
Eden Prime was were everything had started and it just felt right to go there again. Almost like they were starting all over again in so many ways.
Of course, the absence of Ashley was very much noticed and Kaidan halfway expected for her to come tumbling out from behind a rock, just like she had done the first time they met.

The fact that there was Cerberus activity and that they had to dispose of more than one group of them came as no surprise and the fact that there was a Prothean artefact on the planet was a given.
It was the reason why Cerberus was there after all and since they had found a beacon there three years ago it came as no surprise that there had been more under the surface.

They had not, however, expected to find a stasis-pod with an actual Prothean.

A Prothean that was possibly still alive, at least for the time being.
They just had to get rid of Cerberus first before anything could happen to the pod.

Dispatching Cerberus had been an easy enough mission: while their numbers were higher than Shepard's own ground-team, they were unorganized, clearly spending all their focus on whatever they had found on the colony.
Thanks to the Prothean chip that was still very much part of Shepard's brain, they were unable to unearth that secret a lot quicker, hoping that whoever it was inside the pod, he or she would help them with the construction of the Crucible.

The only thing they found, however, was a Prothean with a god damned attitude.

“Well, you know me. If I find it, I will bring it on board,” Shepard had mused while Liara looked like every childhood belief she had had about Protheans had been crushed with just a few words from the alien who called himself Javik.

“Your responsibility to feed and clean up after it then,” Kaidan had deadpanned, ignoring the very unimpressed look from the alien.

It wasn’t that Javik was an unwelcome addition to their crew; if anything, the alien fit right in with the rest of them.
It was just the sheer insanity of it all. Shepard really, really had a talent of impressing and surprising Kaidan, even when the biotic had thought he had seen it all.

Javik was, however, very hard to approach.
Shepard had spent the better part of a day with the alien after they had boarded the Normandy, and while Javik had told them of his people's own battle with the Reapers as well as shedding light on the Protheans mysterious legacy, the conversation was tinted with snide remarks and insults. Liara had definitely gotten herself a wake-up call, having insisted on being there with Shepard when he spoke to Javik, and Kaidan could all but see the broken childhood fantasies as the Asari left the Prothean's room with a huff. Shepard had emerged a minute or so later, a bit wiser, but also having the head-ache of a millennium.
The alien was... Proud. Proud and a bit elitist, if Kaidan was to be painfully honest. He hadn't spent a lot of time with the alien, wanting to give him space to adjust, but after a quick introduction and offer that Javik was welcome to come train with himself or Liara, being fellow biotics, Kaidan was left a little insulted and unimpressed.
He tried not to blame the poor man though: Javik had just woken up from one nightmare to a new one. He was alone in a very distant future, facing the same enemy that had wiped out his own people and, in Javik’s own words, relying on the species that had barely discovered fire in his cycle.
If it had been Kaidan in his shoes, the biotic was sure that he would be more than a little grumpy too, especially considering how he was before he’d gotten coffee into his system. Fifty-thousand years was one hell of a nap after all.

Besides from trying to get Javik somewhat comfortable on the Normandy, the crew didn't have much time to stand still.
After they were done on Eden Prime, extracting information and a Prothean from stasis, the ship headed off to Bennings to help a colony that was being terrorized by Cerberus. An easy mission in its own rights and one that was pulled off without much difficulties as they waited for their next orders, but it was still a long, messy fight.

Kaidan had to admit though, it felt damn good being busy again, especially after this time on the Citadel; sitting on his ass while just waiting: waiting to be released, waiting for a ceremony, waiting to be allowed back on the Normandy.
As things were right now, nobody was waiting for anyone.

The intel they got from Bennings was enough to keep Kaidan occupied, happily digging into the information and trying to fish out any leads or useful bits that they could use in their battle. It was bad enough that they had the Reapers on their ass, they really did not need Cerberus nipping after them as well, so any information that could give them an edge, even if it was just a small one, was good information.
As Kaidan continued to work, he was also provided a proper oversight over all the things Shepard had done, but had not been properly mentioned by Udina, covered by the little news he had seen or brought up by Shepard.
Not only did Shepard have the support from the Krogans and the Turians thanks to his work with the genophage, but thanks to what they had done on Virmire, helping the Salarian STG force three years ago, the STG was throwing in their help with the warfare despite the Salarian dalatrass' protests.
He also found reports on a bomb that had been disabled, which had earned them more respect with both the Krogans and the Turians, which in turn had earned them more help.
What was more surprising was the mentions of Aria T'Loak, the Eclipse and the Blood Pack in a report Kaidan had happened to stumble over, which just showed just how busy Shepard had been while Kaidan had been stuck in the hospital. Not only had he secured an alliance with Aria, someone Kaidan only knew by reputation, but he had gotten proper help from her as well. While the report was surprising, the actual help wasn't that surprising: Aria was, as far as Kaidan knew, an incredibly smart woman. She had to be, considering she was running Omega, and she knew that the destruction of the galaxy would be bad.

It was at times like this, working and getting an overview, that Kaidan was glad he had somewhat of his own personal space in the star-observation chamber. Nobody minded the dozens of compads that were spread around, or his own make-shift holo-screen where he "pinned" all his reports for a better view of things.

"I got to get another screen up," he mumbled to himself as he tried to separate everything, wanting to keep it as tidy as possible.
Cerberus reports went on one side, the alliance intel in the middle and status-reports on the other, where the status-reports were getting so many that they were blending in with the intel.

"We can fix that," Shepard said as the door slid shut behind him, making Kaidan jump slightly in surprise.

"Jesus, Shepard, don't do that."

"Do what? Come into the observation-chamber on my own ship?" Shepard mused as he walked over to Kaidan, giving him a smirk. "I wasn't even that quiet."

"Well, you know how I get, when I am in the zone," Kaidan grunted, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at his Commander, but he couldn't keep the small smile off his lips.

"Boy, do I," Shepard teased before looking over Kaidan's work-screen.
"Good job on the intel, by the way. Hackett sends his regards and thanks you for the work. Not much he can do with it, but our people on the Citadel can sure use it against the Cerberus propaganda."

"It wasn't much, but every bit helps," Kaidan replied as he touched one of his reports, enlargening it slightly.
"I got some other intel though, from one of the reports we found at Eden Prime. I am not sure if it is relevant yet, but there is a lot of mentions of different Prothean technology. I was thinking about approaching Javik about it." He trailed off after that, not wanting to say that "but" at the end.

"Still miffed about what he said about human biotics?"

"Touched a sore-spot, but shaking it off. I'm not going to hold it against him, its not like I haven't heard it before from people that are supposed to be in our cycle, not in a cycle that has been dead and gone for several thousand years."

"Well, let me know if he turns into an asshole," Shepard said while nudging one of Kaidan's compad away with his foot. "I'll have a talk with him about manners."

"Don't worry about it," Kaidan replied, giving Shepard a half-smile. "You have more than enough to worry about as it is. You don't have to take my dignity on as well. It'll survive a couple of dents."

"That I know," Shepard murmured while bending over to pick up the compad he had nudged away.
"You said something about needing another screen?"

"Heard that did you?"

"I have ears everywhere."

"I bet you do," Kaidan mused before looking up towards the nearest speaker. "And no, EDI, I actually don't mean you."

"I am merely observing the Normandy as per requirement, Major Alenko," EDI's voice responded through the speaker, making Kaidan chuckle.
"I would also like to remind you that the coffee you poured yourself half an hour ago has reduced significantly in temperature."

"Thank you, EDI," Kaidan replied while Shepard shook his head.

"Well, glad to hear that you two are getting along."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't EDI who smacked me senseless after all. Just her body," the biotic replied while plucking the compad from Shepard's hand, giving it a quick look-over before placing it back between Shepard's fingers.

"True," Shepard mused, clearly amused by Kaidan's focus.
"So, about the screen... Any specs you've thought about?"

"No," Kaidan said slowly, hands hovering over the holo-screen as he contemplated one of the reports he had from Bennings.
"I just need one similar to this one. Doesn't have to be big." He hesitated some, brows coming down into a frown as he thought about it. "... No. No, I need one a little bigger. This one is good for like, one mission at a time. Or one report. Investigation. Whatever you want to call it, but I need a war-map, so to speak."

"So at least twice the size of the one you have now."

"Yeah, at least. Doesn't have to be fancy, just needs to be able to do the job. I'll measure the wall by the door, see if I can't fit something there-"

"I'll take care of it," Shepard said, giving Kaidan a small smile as he interrupted him mid-sentence.
"We're heading back to the Citadel and I have an entire shopping-list to take care of. I'm sure I can get you another screen though, I'll just use some of my contacts. That or wave my spectre-status in someone's face"

Kaidan chuckled and smiled at Shepard. "Thanks, Shepard, but you don't have to wave anything in anyone's face. I'm a spectre too, remember? I can handle it."

"... Right," Shepard said slowly, letting out a small snort through his nose. "... You know, I keep forgetting, even though I am still aware of it. I am just so used to-"

"Handling everything on your own," Kaidan offered, grinning at Shepard's sheepish look.

"Yeah. You know how it is."

"I do, and while you are my commander here on the Normandy, I am also here to help you," Kaidan reminded the Commander, crossing his arms over his chest as he turned to look at him. "Use me, Shepard."

Shepard opened his mouth while lifting his hand up, then shook his head, as if dismissing his original reply before it could escape him. "I am going to refrain from answering that and instead let you know that your offer is appreciated."

"Shepard," Kaidan laughed, leaning his upper body a little closer, one eyebrow raised.
"I am not going to force you to take advantage of my offer to -assist- you, I am pretty sure I already know where your mind went. However, you are way over your head with work. Let me help you. I bet that you already have your shopping-list ready, yeah? Let me have a look so I can see if there is anything I can do."

"You really don't have to," Shepard said while tapping on his omnitool, bringing up a crudely written list before showing it to Kaidan.
"It is a bit messy. I just note down what I have to remember, then I... Do it later."

"Hey, I have taken your lists before when we first met," Kaidan replied, looking over at the list. "How bad can it be?"
After a good minute of just staring at the list, Kaidan raised an eyebrow before glancing at Shepard. "Okay, I take that back. Or do you really need an... GX12 thermal pipe for a hamster-wheel?"

"Two unrelated things," Shepard said quickly, reaching out and removing the hamster-wheel from the list.

"Do I want to know what the hamster-wheel is about? Some sort of back-up system in case the Normandy's Eezo-core goes down?"

"Drop by my cabin at some point and I will get you two introduced."

"Right. Very informative," Kaidan replied with a small chuckle, shaking his head some while Shepard transferred his list to Kaidan's omnitool.
"I will have a look at the list, Shepard. See if there is anything I can get there."

Shepard nodded before giving Kaidan a small smile. "... Thanks, Kaidan," he said softly. "I am so used to just... Doing everything my own way after working with Cerberus that I have forgotten how it is to have someone to lean on."

"Hopefully we can get you used to that feeling again," Kaidan said, smiling gently at Shepard as he looked up from the list, trying his best to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat when his eyes met with Shepard's own eyes.
"Because I am here to stay now."

"Good. I wouldn't have it any other way," Shepard murmured before a silence appeared between of them, deafening and soothing at the same time as they just looked at one another.
Kaidan could feel the way his heart pounded in his chest, could feel the heat radiating from Shepard's body.

It was weird. Even after so long, even after their talks, Kaidan still felt like a giddy school-boy when around Shepard, wanting so badly to go back to what they had, but knowing that it just wasn't that easy.

While Shepard hadn't pushed him away or treated him any differently, he had also not really responded or acted on Kaidan's offers on talks.
Not that Kaidan could blame him on that: Shepard had more than enough on his plate and knowing him, he had probably not even had time to think about what Kaidan had told him.

Still, it would be nice to know if the fire was still there or if it was just the dying embers Kaidan felt every time he was near Shepard.
Like the warmth he felt right that moment as he looked into Shepard's eyes.

He was so close now, so painfully close...

Shepard.
Commander John Shepard.

He had been scarred, bruised, when they had seen each other on Horizon; a tell-tale sign of what he had gone through after his resurrection, but now... Shepard looked exactly has he had when they had seen each other before the accident.
The same hair-cut. The same scars. The same blue eyes.
The only thing Kaidan did not know was if that skin felt the same against his skin. If those lips felt the same way as they had back then.

It would be so easy to just lean forward and see for himself...

"Bridge to Commander Shepard."

Shepard shook his head some, seemingly awakening from some sort of trancelike state before glancing towards the speaker. "What is it, EDI?"

"I am sorry for disturbing, but there is an urgent call from Hackett. He wishes to speak to you."

Shepard let out a groan, pinching the bridge between his eyes before nodding. "Okay. Tell him I'm there in two minutes. If I am to spend another half-hour on the holo, I'm going to need some coffee."

"Of course, Commander."

Kaidan gave Shepard a small, apologetic smile. "The Commander's work is never done, huh?"

"Doesn't seem like it," Shepard sighed, running his hand over his head. "I guess I'll get that coffee. I bet you the second Hackett's off the holo, someone else is going to call me."

"I am not willing to take that bed," Kaidan mused, smirking some before nodding his head towards Shepard's omnitool. "Leave that list with me, okay? I'll start on the applications, get them sent off so we can pick them up when we hit the Citadel. When was the ETA?"

"Two days," Shepard said, quickly sending over the remainder of the list to Kaidan.
"And thank you again, Kaidan. If you can do this, it'll be a lot of help."

"If it means you getting five minutes to yourself, then I am more than happy to do this for you, Shepard."

"You are too kind," Shepard smiled as he headed back towards the door.
"And if you get any trouble when it comes to the screen, let me know, okay?"

"Will do, Shepard. Just take five when you can."

"I intend to."

"Why don't I believe you?"

Shepard merely chuckled and vanished out the door, leaving Kaidan with the lists and his thoughts.
The biotic looked over them, quickly making notes on where he could get what. At least his down-time on the Citadel had given him a somewhat decent overview over where everything was located, especially after the number Sovereign had done on the place three years ago.

Three years...

It was strange to think about: all that time apart because of something that was so much bigger than themselves. Something bigger than the entire galaxy and yet everything was put on the shoulders of one man.
One very special man, but still just a man.

One very special man that Kaidan so desperately wanted to help.

"Baby-steps, Alenko," he murmured to himself, sighing some as he looked over the lists again, sitting down onto one of the chairs to start his work. He had letters to send and reports to complete, and since he was the second human spectre, he had also taken it upon himself to be the one reporting progresses and findings to the Councillors.

"Baby-steps."

He started filling out the needed requisition-forms, specifying what he needed and why as well as making a proper "shopping-list" over things he could just order without too much fuzz. He also opened up another form he had worked on, requesting new and proper armour for when they were doing ground-missions. The blue armour was nice, but it had nothing extra going for it and Kaidan needed something lighter and more practical to fight in.
Still, as he worked, there was a part of him working on something else entirely. Something that he felt was long overdue.

Something, he felt, both he and Shepard needed.

Looking at the half-filled out requisition letter, Kaidan bit his bottom lip before deciding "to heck with it" and opened up a new e-mail.
His fingers hovered over the keyboard of his compad before he started typing a rather personal letter to his one and only Commander.

"Subject: Dinner

Hey Shepard,

I don't know about you, but I could sure use a little breather. Next time we're on the Citadel, let me buy you dinner. We should try Apollo's. It's that little restaurant in the courtyard overlooking the Presidium.

Kaidan"