Sentinel - Chapter Forty-Seven

Title: Sentinel
Author: Golddragon85/Tovaras
Game: Mass Effect
characters/pairing: Male John Shepard/Kaidan Alenko
Disclaimer: I own nothing besides my own playthrough of the games. ... Sadly, I don't make money out of it.

***

After-Care:

The light, as faint was it was, still burned Kaidan's eyes when he opened them, the effect similar as if he was looking directly at the sun, making him wince and grip his head with both hands, the sole of his palms pressing against his eyes.
He wasn't sure where he was or how he had even gotten there; the last few hours (he at least hoped it was hours...) were a bit of a blur after the explosion in the monastery. The painkiller he had taken while still at the monastery had done nothing to dull the pain from the screaming creatures that had once been Asari and as they had screamed, his senses must have been overwhelmed at some point, causing him to pass out from the sensory overload.

He tried to shift, feeling the bare skin on his legs slide against one another, telling him that he was at least partly naked, covered in a soft blanket before a wave of nausea flowed through him, quickly followed by the sensation of not being able to tell up from down. What he was wearing because less than important as he let out another groan of discomfort, forcing himself to keep as still as possible.

"Hey... How are you feeling," Shepard's low, soothing voice whispered from somewhere in front of him, making Kaidan moaned as even the low sound made his head throb.

"Ssssh..." he managed to shakily whisper out, but even his own voice was enough to create a wave of nausea which he only barely managed to fight down.

Shepard made a small sound of sympathy, but nothing further was said. However, Kaidan did feel something cold and wet press against his forehead, making him sigh out in pleasure as the cold feeling seemed to soothe the throbbing somewhat. Warm, gentle hands gently pried his hands away from his face so the cloth could reach everywhere and while Kaidan automatically made a small, protesting sound, he was more than happy to replace his own, slightly callused hands with the cold, slightly damp cloth.
It certainly felt much better.
When the cloth was then removed, he let out a small groan, already missing the cool cloth.

A gentle hand was placed under his head and something cold and firm was pressed against his lips. "Drink," Shepard whispered and Kaidan obeyed, taking a few gulps and swallowing. "Keep some of it in your mouth," was whispered next and again Kaidan obeyed, taking a gulp and holding it in his mouth as Shepard pressed something against his lips. He didn't question it, merely taking whatever was offered to him and swallowing it down.

Warm lips pressed against his forehead tenderly and if Kaidan was in any state to enjoy it, he would have appreciated the gesture.
For now, he was too far gone to really appreciate anything except the things that soothed the ache, but it was still a sweet gesture.
"Shepard," he whispered while closing his eyes, trying to focus on breathing slowly and deeply, letting whatever capsule Shepard have given him work its magic.

“I’m here,” Shepard whispered, his voice barely auditable and while the words still made his head throb, Kaidan wanted to hear Shepard’s voice.
“Sorry that I keep talking, but just let the meds to its job, okay, Kaidan? I’ll be here.”

Kaidan just gave a small, careful nod, the motion being enough to send a new, slighter wave of nausea through him, but he didn’t trust his own voice right now.
As he felt the numbness spread through his body, he guessed Shepard had either asked Chakwas for Kaidan’s brand of pain meds or he had found Kaidan’s stash in his pouch. He rarely went anywhere without some, after all. Just in case something happened.

After the numbness spread through his body, efficiently numbing all his muscles, Kaidan felt his mind being affected next, slowly, but steadily dampening the insistent thudding of pain in his skulls.
Based on the shape and size of the capsule he had taken, Kaidan guessed Shepard had given him a whole one, which was fine.
He usually took only half a pill, enough to make him functional as a whole one usually was enough to knock him out. In this instance, however, he felt that being knocked out was probably for the better. Sometimes it was just better to ride it out while unconscious. It was less of a hassle that way.
Still, at the same time, he felt as if he was becoming a burden to Shepard. Knowing his lover, he had probably spent all his time, watching over him and Kaidan knew that Shepard had more than enough to do.

As it was, he didn’t have it in him to protest as the pill was working its intended magic, making Kaidan feel extremely tired.
The last thing he remembered before sleep claimed him was a callused hand gently stroking his cheek before he finally let himself drift off.

***

When his eyes fluttered open, Kaidan once again found himself unsure about just how much time had passed, but this time he didn’t want to curl up and die as the very slight light in the room hit his eyes.
His head was still hurting, but it was more an insisting throb rather than the full-out drumming that had been in his head earlier, which was a vast improvement. He was still a little nauseas, but he didn’t feel the need to throw up when he moved in the bed.

Using his hands to push his upper body up from the bed, Kaidan managed to get himself into a sitting position, letting out a small grunt as he felt his head spin for a moment.

“Hey there, sleeping beauty,” he heard Shepard chuckle from somewhere in front of him.
“How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better,” Kaidan grunted, rubbing his hand over his face before slowly lowering himself back down, letting his head fall back onto the pillow.
“What time is it?”

“About ten in the evening, earth-time. You’ve been out for about… Sixteen hours.”

“Sixteen?” Kaidan let out a groan as he let the hand remain on his face. “… Shit.”

“Don’t sweat it, Kaidan. You didn’t pass out until you were back on the shuttle,” Shepard said, getting up from behind his desk after finishing up the last of a report he had been writing.
“Or rather, when you were getting off it. We could tell you were a bit off when you were on the shuttle, like you were going on autopilot, but I didn’t know that… You were feeling this bad.” Shepard paused as he walked over to the bed, gently sitting down so he was looking down at Kaidan, a look of worry on his face.
“… You more or less passed out into my arms the moment you stepped off the shuttle. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Didn’t know it was that bad, in all honesty,” Kaidan murmured, giving Shepard an apologetic smile.
“But apparently those damn screams got to me more than I care to admit. It’s… It’s like they pierced through my brain and echoed in there.”

“And you’re sensitive to high-pitched noises,” Shepard murmured, a flicker of guilt crossing over his face. “… Shit, Kaidan. I am sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Kaidan said, giving Shepard what he hoped was a strict look, but he suspected it was sleepier than anything else.
“We weren’t prepared for something like that, but now we know and I can prepare accordingly. I hear good things about earplugs.”

Shepard let out a small snort before he smiled at Kaidan again, just looking at him before leaning down and kissing him gently. “Just… Don’t do that again, okay?” he murmured after breaking the kiss, giving Kaidan a small, warm smile.
“You scared the heck out of me. I’ve already had to carry you off the battlefield once, I… I don’t want to do it again.”

Kaidan just let out a small, soft chuckle, giving Shepard a tired smile. “I’ll try my best, Commander,” he murmured softly.

“That’s all I ask.”
Shepard shifted some as he gently offered Kaidan another glass of water, helping Kaidan sit up so he could drink it.
“Think you can stomach some food? I can have something simple brought up. Think we still have some broth we can make.”

“Yeah, I… I can get down some food. Make it salty if you can,” Kaidan replied after drinking, already feeling the water soothe the feeling of nausea further. He knew he was probably dehydrated, especially if he had been more or less knocked out for sixteen hours. The salt wouldn’t help on the dehydration naturally enough, but it would help on the nausea more than the water would.

“You got it,” Shepard said, refilling the glass with water, then offering it to Kaidan before he got up.
“I got a meeting with the Quarian fleet in about two hours,” he said while walking over to the comsystem. “And I need to grab a quick chat with Hackett before the meeting. Think you will be okay up here on your own?”

Kaidan let out a small chuckle, trying his best not to swallow the water down the wrong pipe. “Shepard, it’s a migraine. I’ve had worse, believe it or not, and survived.”
The look on Shepard’s face when Kaidan said he had had worse was enough to make Kaidan laugh again before flashing his lover a tired, but sincere smile.
“I’ll be fine,” he said firmly. “Leave me half of a pill and get me that broth and I will be able to work my way through this, as long as you don’t mind me taking advantages of your bed and possibly shower.”

“Whatever you need to feel better, Kaidan,” Shepard said, his expression softening from the look of surprise to a warmer, loving smile.
“You know I don’t mind. I’ll get you your compads if you want, for when you can actually look at them again.”

“Yeah, that would be great if you could. I will probably sleep for a while longer, but would be nice for later.”

Shepard nodded, letting out a small breath of air before he looked at Kaidan again. “… Do you need anything?” he asked again. “Anything at all? An extra pillow, blankets? Need me to dim the lights further?”
When Kaidan gave Shepard a look, one eyebrow raised an a clearly amused smile playing on his lips, Shepard let out a small chuckle of his own. “… Need me to shut up?”

“I need you to relax,” Kaidan mused. “And not to worry about me. It’s a migraine. It hurts, it sucks, but it hasn’t killed me in the past and I doubt it’s going to kill me now.”

“I know,” Shepard sighed, shaking his head some as he reached his hand up, pinching the bridge between his eyes. “I just… I don’t like seeing you like this and know that… I can’t do shit about it. You-,” he started, then stopped, hesitated before looking back at Kaidan.
“I need you, Kaidan,” he finally said after a few seconds. “To keep me grounded.”

“Shepard…” Despite his body feeling more or less like he was moving through water, Kaidan reached up and cupped Shepard’s cheek tenderly, giving him a small smile.
“I am here. And now that we know about those… Things, then I can take precautions for my own sake. Just like I’ve done in the past to block out those screeching, metallic noises the Geth made.”

Shepard leaned his head into the hand, closing his eyes for a moment before chuckling. “… I am being an idiot, I know,” he murmured. “Here I am, supposed to take care of you and in the end, you are the one reassuring me. Some kind of caretaker I am, huh?”

“One for one, Commander,” Kaidan murmured before giving Shepard’s cheek a playful pat.
“Go now. Hackett is waiting for you, as are the Quarians. Please keep me updated on what will happen, hmm?”

“Of course,” Shepard said, leaning over to give Kaidan a small, tender kiss on the lips before he got up from the bed, walking towards the elevator.
As he walked up the small set of stairs, he stopped, then turned again so he could look at his lover.
“Are you sure you- “

“Go,” Kaidan said firmly, smirking some as he let himself sink back against Shepard’s semi-soft pillows.
“I am fine. If I need anything, I’ll let EDI know.”

“You su- “

“Go, Shepard. Or I will throw a pillow at you.”

“Okay, okay, I am going,” Shepard chuckled, smiling at Kaidan. “But I will be back with that soup and the compads, okay? So hold fire on my return, please.”

“Depends on how long you linger,” Kaidan smiled before closing his eyes, inhaling deeply through his nose as he listened to Shepard’s retreating footsteps, then the soft swoosh from the cabin door. When it closed again, the only sound was the sound of the Normandy’s engines and the light hum from the fish-talk.

Despite having not been up at Shepard’s cabin too many times, he still found the sound comforting. It felt good, even right, to be up here instead of being in the soldier’s quarters downstairs. He still had a bed and most of his meagre belongings down there, but he’d feel bad keeping others out of the quarters while he got through his migraine.
There was always the med bay, but again, he didn’t want to take up space for people with real issues, especially since there was a limited set of beds down there. That and the med bay wasn’t equipped to have lights turn off at just one part of the med bay; turn one light off and you made the entire bay dark.
No, Shepard’s quarters made sense and he knew Shepard could do the same to any other crewmember if they needed it.
Still, it felt good to be up there and even better that Shepard had taken the time to tend to him. Kaidan hated feeling weak, hated being a burden, but he also knew that Shepard didn’t view him as either, which made it easier to feel comfortable up there.

Letting out a small grunt, Kaidan brought a hand up to his forehead, carefully rubbing at the skin there in an attempt to ease up the throbbing that was still very much existing at the very front of his head.
Pills could only do so much, Kaidan knew, especially since he knew it was all the implant’s fault and while the special cocktail his doctor at the Citadel had insisted on him drinking at least a couple of times a week did help somewhat, he really didn’t think he could stomach that concoction right now.

Instead he shifted on the bed, removing his hand from his face and rested it along with the other over his stomach as he decided to try and meditate it away. It had helped stave off head-aches in the past and he was really grateful for the breathing techniques he had learned both from Liara and from his doctor.

Inhaling deeply, Kaidan kept his eyes closed as he focused on levelling out his breathing and lowering his heart-rate as much as he could in an attempt to lure his body to relaxed. In a way, half the job had already been done, with his body feeling like it was made out of led.
Slowly, but steadily, he felt himself relax further, his breathing growing deeper and slower as he focused on the sound of the fish-tank, letting it be a sort of focus-point for his breathing, trying to match it with the rhythm of the tank.

He wasn’t sure exactly when he started drifting off or how long he had even tried drifting off, but at some point Kaidan felt his eyelids, mind and body grown heavy, leaving him in a state of half-slumber as he breathed slowly and steadily.
He was halfway aware of careful footsteps in the room, coming closer towards him before stopping by the bed. He could hear something being put down before a warm, callused hand gently touched his forehead, then his cheek before being replaced by a pair of warm, slight chapped lips. When the lips were removed, he heard the steps again before the room was once again quiet.
Inhaling deeply, Kaidan let his head bury against Shepard’s pillow and with the scent of Shepard filling his nostrils, he allowed himself to fall properly asleep.